Stephany Writes

Categories: Recurring Series

Currently in August

Feeling… very ready for fall. While Florida will maintain its tropical climate for the rest of the year, most likely, I am still so ready for pumpkins, football, fall drinks at Starbucks, and all of the holidays. (If only I could add cooler weather, changing leaves, and wearing scarves to that list! Sigh.) The last four months of the year are my favorite, and while I honestly can’t wrap my mind around the fact that we are closer to the end of 2022 than the beginning, I am so excited for what the next few months will bring!

Watching… the final season of Superstore! I usually don’t like the final seasons of shows (which is why I’ve put off watching the last season of this show for so long), but this one has been pretty good. I like the way they are dealing with Covid on the show—it’s not fully realistic, of course, but for a TV show, it’s alright.

Listening to… my own podcast! We officially launched our bebe into the world in early August and it’s been so fun releasing episodes every week and seeing them download into my feed! I listen to every episode multiple times because first I have to listen to write down the show notes I need to add to our description and then I just like listening to the episode when it downloads to my podcast player. It’s so fun and I feel like Bri and I have a really great rapport with one another. You can probably tell why I love her so much!

Grateful for… the people in my life (and that includes you, dear readers!) I am so grateful for friends I can talk to about my life and feel that they truly listen. I am grateful that I can come to this blog and be honest about my struggles and feel heard. I am grateful that I have friends who have brought me into their families as one of their own. In my loneliest moments, I remember all of the people in my life who love me and want to be there for me. It means the world.

Anticipating… a Labor Day getaway with Amber and Bri! We’re spending Friday-Monday at a fun resort in Kissimmee. The resort has a big pool, a lazy river, and lots of fun things to do. We’re planning on taking a sunset airboat ride and playing a round or two of mini-golf in Downtown Disney, so it should be a really fun time.

Loathing… all of this anxiety I’ve been having lately. The anxiety has been worse than usual and Lisa brought up a really great point in my coffee date post that it may be time to look at my medication. I’ve been on Lexapro since I start taking anti-anxiety medication and I’m on the highest dosage available. I’ve always taken my meds in the morning but I think I might try taking them at night to see if that helps. My anxiety is always much worse at night than in the morning/daytime, so it might be useful to have higher levels of the drug in my system at night. I’ve also been contemplating taking some sort of CBD gummy at night to see if that helps me, but I’m not sure how it would interfere with Lexapro.

Thinking about… some little updates I want to make to my apartment. I want to change up the entryway wall to add a mirror and a new shelf that I could display cute seasonal decor. I also want to finish up my picture wall in my living room (I need about 8 more pictures). I’ve been wanting to commission pet portraits of Dutch, Eloise, and Lila to hang in my room, right above my bed. And there are some changes I’d like to make to my dining area, mostly wall decor like a clock, some cute prints, and maybe some of those floating bookshelves that I’ve been eyeing for a while. But all of this costs money and I am in a spending freeze for the foreseeable future. So all I can do is continue to think about what I want to do for my home, make wish lists, and hope that I can start plugging away at these updates soon.

Needing… new sandals. I was very close to pushing the purchase button on a pair of Vionic flip-flops but the $75 price tag makes me wince. I know they will be worth it, but I am so used to paying $20 or less for flip-flops, and my last pair from Target have lasted for nearly 5 years! But now they are coming apart at the seams, and I know it’s time for me to invest in a better pair of sandals. Right now, I’m wearing my knock-off Birkenstocks that I got from Target a few years ago. I have rarely worn them since I got them because the breaking-in process was a nightmare, but I’m finding them to be really comfortable lately. I’ll probably wear these for now, and invest in two really nice pairs of sandals after my spending freeze is over.

Buying… not a whole lot this month! However, every pay period, I have a $30 allowance where I can spend money on anything I want. I’m really enjoying the process of thinking hard about what I want! Last pay period, I bought earrings, a foundation brush, nail polish, and a pedicure foot mask. This pay period, I bought a necklace, some headbands, and a new lip color. So fun!

Loving… the way Lila has to make an appearance on every Zoom work call I make (but hides under the bed when company comes to the apartment), when I wake up from a nap to see Eloise curled up next to me, voting in Florida’s primary that will hopefully lead to kicking DeSantis and Rubio out of office, a weekend away with my fur-siblings, fantasy football drafts, and podcast recordings with Bri.

What are you currently anticipating?

Categories: Recurring Series

Currently in July

Feeling… reinvigorated about dating after reading and loving the book How to Not Die Alone by Logan Ury. I’ve long felt apathetic about dating and after reading the book, I think it stems from my fear that I will go through a long and arduous dating process, wasting my precious time and money, and never find that great love of my life. And I’ve also felt like it should be easier to date, that because dating felt so hard meant there was something wrong with me. But dating is a skill; it’s really not natural for us to try to find love in this modern era of dating apps, so it makes sense that it takes work. Anyway, I am planning on writing a blog post soon about the lessons I’m taking away from this book and how I’m going to apply them to my dating life.

Watching… a lot of reality TV right now! It’s summertime so, of course, I’m watching my yearly fave, Big Brother. This show is on three times a week, there are accompanying daily podcasts to listen to, and live feeds of the contestants to watch, so it’s quite the time commitment! But I love it. I’m also watching The Challenge for the first time ever, which pits former reality TV stars together in a series of very, erm, challenging physical competitions. I’m finding it so fun to watch! And, lastly, I am watching The Bachelorette. It’s a weird season because they have two bachelorettes and it seems like production didn’t really figure out how this was going to work beforehand, so I think it’s going to get really messy really soon. But that’s why we watch reality TV, right?!

Listening to… Fad Camp. This podcast was recommended for people who love Maintenance Phase but wish it focused more on diets/diet culture and less on digging into diet-based research. I want to be clear that I love Maintenance Phase for what it is; I love when they get nerdy about research and find their episodes fascinating. But what I love about Fad Camp is that it focuses more on the hosts’ individual experiences with diets and diet culture. I love hearing about all the different diets we subject ourselves to so that we can fit into this idealized version of ourselves. The hosts are funny, self-deprecating, and seem like genuinely good friends. Plus, they have wonderful Irish accents that are fun to listen to!

Grateful… for my therapist. Being able to schedule an emergency therapy appointment with her earlier this month was amazing. I really needed her calming presence and helpful guidance as I worked through a really difficult anxiety spiral. Knowing I have her in my back pocket to help me when I get into these dark places is a sense of relief and comfort that I wish everyone could have.

Anticipating… our podcast launch! I can’t believe we’re releasing our trailer episode in just a few days! And then our first episode comes out on August 9th. This is going to be such a wild ride and I cannot wait for us to finally launch this little creative darling of ours into the world. We don’t have anything up on Instagram just yet, but you can follow us here if you’re so inclined.

Loathing… Covid. It has been a month of person after person in my family falling ill with Covid. First it was my mom, then it was my stepdad, and the latest person to get it was my brother. Thankfully, everyone recovered just fine and no worse for wear, but it has not been a fun month for us. We haven’t even been able to celebrate my mom’s birthday! I think we will finally be able to celebrate it this weekend, three full weeks after her actual birthday. But while everyone in my family getting Covid was scary and anxiety-inducing, I am just glad we got it now—when most of us are vaccinated and the strain is a lot less intense than previous iterations.

Thinking about… finally making the Peloton plunge. Well, I’ve been on the Peloton train for a year now but I don’t have the actual Peloton bike and there’s a part of me that really, really wants one. It would be nice to know if the resistance I’m using is anywhere close to where it needs to be (I have a cadence sensor but I don’t think there’s any tool I can get to track resistance) and to monitor my output. Since I am planning on canceling my massage membership, that will give me around $80-$100 back in my budget. And it got me thinking about financing a Peloton bike (no, I can’t afford to pay outright for a $2,000 bike)—the monthly cost of the bike + the additional membership fee ($44 a month for all-access membership, which is required if you have their bike, vs $15 for the bare-bones, app-based membership). It would come out to about the same price as what I was paying for the massage membership. I’m not fully convinced I want to take the plunge, but I’m about 70% of the way there.

Buying… lots of fun stuff:

  • A new cat tower – The cats love their new tower! Eloise is particularly fond of sleeping on the top platform while Lila loves curling up in one of the caves. I’m hoping Lila starts using the hammocks soon, since that’s the reason I bought this particular tower, but she’s a slow adopter of new things so it may just take some time.
  • A Roomba – I am so damn happy with my decision to get a Roomba! On Monday, I let it vacuum my entire apartment and it spend nearly 90 minutes scooting around my 700ish-square-foot space while I worked. It does a much better job of vacuuming than I could ever do on my own!
  • A new phone – It was a no-brainer to upgrade my phone, especially since the lease price for an iPhone 13 Pro is only going to cost me $4 a month! I’m really happy with my decision.

Loving… my new glasses! I finally ordered new Warby Parker glasses (from this post, I went with option 2!) and received them on Sunday. I’m still getting used to them but they honestly don’t feel too different (size-wise) from my previous glasses. It’s fun to have something new to wear around, though!

What’s something fun you bought this month?

Categories: Recurring Series

Currently in June

Feeling… devastated and sick to my stomach about Roe v. Wade being overturned. It’s the first time a constitutional right has been revoked, and it sets a precedent for more constitutional rights to be at stake. Here’s the truth: I used to be pro-life because that’s what you are when you’re a Christian. You believe that abortion is wrong. But I’m staunchly pro-choice now because why? Because the government should not have control over what happens to my body. Because it is my body and my choice. Because I should not be forced to go through the physical and emotional turmoil of pregnancy if I do not want a baby. Because the government wants to say that they are pro-life but we’re one of the only developed countries without paid parental leave, without universal healthcare, without services to help parents and children in need. Because the government wants me to bring a child into a world where they can be gunned down in their classroom, in their church building, in the grocery store. At this point in time, guns have more rights than women in America. And that’s a chilling realization. (And hey, maybe you’re still anti-abortion; that’s totally your right! But please remember, making abortion illegal will not stop abortions. It will cause more women to die. Making abortion illegal will also have an impact on access to contraception, on people going through miscarriage, and on families doing fertility treatments. There is a whole lot at stake here, and this is not a victory for anyone.)

Watching…

  • Ted Lasso, season 2 – Season 2 of Ted Lasso was a lot more serious and poignant than season 1, focusing on mental health and anxiety. There were some really weird episodes in this season and the character arc of one specific character was upsetting, but overall, I liked it a lot and I’m excited for the third (and final!) season.
  • MasterChef, season 8 – After reading a book that centered around a cooking show that seemed similar to MasterChef, I decided to watch an old season of the show. I forgot how much I love this show! It’s just so good and makes me cry (happy tears!) because the contestants’ stories are so lovely.
  • Cheer, season 2 – I loved season 1 of Cheer and was excited that they came back for season 2. This season centered more on the rivalry between the two community colleges that are consistently 1 and 2 in the national cheer championship—Navarro Community College and Trinity Valley Community College. There was also a really impactful episode about sexual assault in the competitive cheerleading community (stemming from one of the cheerleaders on the Navarro squad being found guilty of a wide range of sexual assault on minors).
  • So You Think You Can Dance – I’m watching the newest season “live” (i.e., on Hulu a few days after it airs) and it brings me so much joy and happiness. And who knew I would end up loving Jojo Siwa as a judge? She’s fantastic!

Listening to… American Elections: Wicked Game. This podcast is perfect for my history-loving soul. The podcast is working through every presidential election in American history, starting with 1789 with the election of George Washington and continuing through to 2020. The whole podcast is complete so I’m enjoying dipping in and out of the episodes (I just finished the 1804 election between Thomas Jefferson and Charles Pinckney). The episodes are cinematic, in a weird way, and I’m learning so much!

Grateful… that I’m feeling back to normal after my bout with Covid. I’m really glad my symptoms didn’t linger around too long. It was a really intense few days of feeling miserable and then multiple days of feeling fine but dealing with annoying symptoms like the dry cough and congestion. And, of course, getting that sexy raspy sick voice. Ha. I’m still testing positive for the virus (as of Friday morning), but since I’m no longer contagious, I’m allowing myself to be out (masked) in public. It’s been so nice to be among the living again!

Anticipating… writing and publishing all of my vacation recaps. I promise they’re coming! I usually write and publish all of my vacation recaps right after I come home, but getting Covid threw a wrench in my editorial schedule. But the first one will be published on Wednesday and the rest of them to follow afterward. It’s been fun to relive my vacation through these recaps and to sort through all of the hundreds of photos I took while I was away. It’s always such a beast to organize my photos after a vacation since I take soooo many pictures and videos and then have to cull down the collection to something more manageable.

Loathing… bouts of loneliness. These little moments of loneliness come to me at night, usually as I’m snuggling in bed to read for a bit before going to sleep. For me, there is something so vulnerable about this time of night. It’s when my anxiety can truly get the best of me. This is when I feel the most alone, when the pull to pick up my phone and swipe through my dating apps is highest. I was having a really rough night a few days ago and then I looked up and realized both cats had jumped up on the bed and were snuggled up next to me. It reminded me that I’m not alone but… as much as I love my ladies, they aren’t a substitute for real human connection. I’m missing that. I don’t know what the solution is, I know I could be better about reaching out to friends; there are a few people in my life that I’ve been thinking about setting up regular phone chats with to build that stronger human connection that I need. And also, the solution to these bouts of loneliness may be that there is no solution. Maybe it is what it is. We’re not robots; we’re humans with really complex emotions and loneliness is one of those emotions. It’s okay to have these dark moments, as long as we find our way out of them.

Struggling… with my cleaning schedule. Listen, I don’t know how people with larger households and more on their plates do it when it comes to cleaning. It’s hard enough keeping up with the cleaning tasks for my small apartment where it’s only me and two cats! I’ve tried doing a daily cleaning schedule (on Mondays, I clean the bathroom; on Tuesdays, I vacuum my room; on Wednesdays, I sweep and mop the living room, etc.) I’ve tried setting aside one day a week for all of my cleaning chores (not a good plan). None of it works for me. My floors usually have to get to a state of extreme filth for me to get the motivation to finally mop them, and then I’m just disgusted at myself. And don’t even get me started on how long I go between washing my sheets. I consider myself a tidy person; I tidy my apartment every night and never go to sleep with dirty dishes in the sink. But completing my cleaning chores on a regular basis is just a constant struggle.

Excited… to have unlimited PTO! My company announced this new program earlier this month and I am so thrilled about it. Every time my company sends out a survey to ask how they can improve, I always write down, “Unlimited PTO” because it truly is the greatest benefit. Being able to take a mental health day or schedule a long vacation without worrying about depleting my PTO budget for the year? Amazing.

Needing… to get organized for our podcast! Originally, we were hoping to release the first episode in early July, but things had to get pushed back when I got Covid (we planned to record our last two episodes of season 1 the Saturday I was miserable with Covid symptoms and the next weekend we can both meet to record isn’t until mid-July). So, now it’s looking more like an early August release. August will come swifter than we imagined, though, so I need to get organized so that when things get started, I don’t feel overwhelmed. So far, I’ve created a separate Google calendar just for the podcast where I can keep track of when we’re recording and when episodes are being released. I’ve updated the editorial calendar where we’ve listed out all of our episode ideas (so far, we have seven seasons planned out with 5-6 episode ideas for each season). Next, I need to create an ongoing list on Todoist for all the little tasks I’ll need to do throughout each season (write show notes, schedule social media posts, etc). It’s mind-boggling how much work goes into a podcast!

Buying… Niagara Falls souvenirs! I love buying a magnet whenever I travel—my fridge is full of different magnets from all around the world and it’s so much fun to have them as a reminder of my travels. I also bought a fun tank top, coffee mug, and Christmas ornament. It delighted me to peruse all of the different tourist shops around Niagara Falls and find the perfect style for all of these items. (Although the Christmas ornament was bought at Niagara-on-the-Lake.)

Loving… my cuddly girls. Oh, they have been so sweet this month. Before my trip, Eloise was being especially snuggly and lovey-dovey, almost like she knew somehting was up. (This was before I got my suitcase out!) And when I came home, Eloise didn’t leave my side for at least a week. She snuggled up right next to me when I was sleeping and was always nearby when I was up. Lila wasn’t as forgiving as Eloise when I returned from my trip; she needed at least a day to let me know she was NOT HAPPY with my decision to leave her for a week. But with enough treats, she decided to forgive me and snuggle with me.

What are you loving and excited about?

Categories: Recurring Series

Currently in May

Feeling… emotional, sad, frustrated, upset, anxious. Two mass shootings within 10 days of each other, one in a grocery store and one in an elementary school, places where we should be able to feel safe. The right to abortion being taken away and draconian abortion laws being put in place. A war that’s still raging in Ukraine. And let’s not forget: climate change, inflation, and rising Covid cases. The world is heavy right now. Or maybe it’s always been heavy and we’re just more attuned to the heaviness thanks to those tiny computers we carry around and ding at us with every breaking news alert.

Watching… Ted Lasso. I’m a few episodes into season 2 and I am loving it. It’s delightful and funny and also very poignant, and exactly what I need right now. Last week, I had a dream that I was dating Roy Kent (not the actor, the fictional soccer player) and was that ever a disappointment to wake up from. Anyway, do yourself a favor and watch this show if you haven’t.

Listening to… Body Stuff with Dr. Jen Gunter. Curious if we really need to be drinking 8 cups of water a day? Does milk really build strong bones? Have you ever wanted to listen to a doctor spend 31 minutes talking about poop? Well, do I have the podcast for you! Body Stuff with Dr. Jen Gunter has been a new favorite listen (and it’s relatively new, so you can get caught up on the backlist pretty quickly!) because I am just fascinated by the body and how it works. Dr. Gunter debunks common medical myths, interviews doctors to get the real truth, and does it all in a light-hearted way. Give it a listen!

Grateful… that Mikaela and I get to do our writing dates again. We meet at Starbucks every Saturday morning. She works on her creative project and I usually spend my time working on podcast outlines or blog posts. Mikaela comes with Eleni who is getting bigger and chunkier as the weeks go by, and one week, my mom came by to snuggle Eleni while we worked. She held her for a solid hour and a half, which allowed Mikaela to get a lot of work done. I love these writing dates with Mikaela—mostly because we spend a lot of our time chit-chatting!—and I am so glad we’re back in action.

Anticipating… my vacation next week! I can’t believe it’s almost here. We started planning this trip so long ago and I’m looking forward to spending a week on vacation with my mom. Plus, the weather looks like it’s going to be insanely gorgeous with highs in the low 70s. !!! We’re planning on spending a day in Toronto, two days at Niagara Falls, a day in a small town called Niagara-on-the-Lake, and a day in Buffalo. I’ve planned out a very detailed itinerary that leaves room for afternoon naps almost every day because that’s just the way we like to do things. Next Wednesday can’t come soon enough!

Loathing… exercise. I think I just need to come to terms with the fact that I hate to exercise and I always will. It’s not about finding the “right” method of working out because I’ve tried everything under the sun and I will always choose to lay on the couch and read than work out. While I do feel better after I’ve worked out, I don’t feel like it has a significant effect on my mental health nor do I always feel better after a work out. “You never regret a workout?” Oh yes. Yes, I have. But I know it’s important for my overall health and so, I will continue to try to hit that 30-minute daily movement goal as much as I can and I will continue to try to find ways to make it less awful.

Struggling… to get enough sleep. I’m still averaging around 6 hours a night, according to my Sleep Cycle app, which is definitely not enough sleep for me. It’s no wonder I constantly feel tired! I am trying to get better about starting my nighttime routine at a reasonable time so that I can be finished with it and have about an hour to myself to read in bed before I need to turn out the light. I’m also working on what time I actually go to bed. There were many nights of the past few months when I didn’t get to bed until after midnight. I’ve never been a night owl, so I’m not even sure why I’ve started staying up so late these days. Now, I have a “lights out” bedtime of 11 p.m. (it was one of my May goals) and every month, I want to decrease that bedtime by 15 minutes. So, in June, my new bedtime will be 10:45. Then, in July, it will be 10:30. And so on until I’m turning out the lights by 10:00, if not earlier.

Thinking about… writing a memoir. I was really inspired by a podcast episode with Mary Laura Philpott about the memoir/essay genre, and it got some ideas churning in my head about writing my own memoir. I never thought my life was interesting enough to write about, and maybe it isn’t, but I know I have things to say about some different aspects of my life. I have two ideas I’m ruminating on: familial estrangement (I’ve been estranged from my father for over a decade) and dating/being single in my thirties. I have a lot to say about both topics, and I think I would find a lot of catharsis by writing about these topics and coming to terms with how they have affected me as a person. Who knows what I’ll do, but I’ll continue to let these ideas percolate.

Needing… a new computer, maybe. My personal computer (a PC) has been running slow for a little while now, and I’m not really sure why. I’ve done some system checkups to see if there’s something specific that is causing it to run so slowly, but haven’t been able to pinpoint a source. This PC did a lot of heavy lifting in the early days of the pandemic as I used it all day every day, from work to personal time, until we were allowed to bring our computers home from the office in October 2020. Now I just use it as my personal computer, but I can never just open it up and go. It needs at least a few minutes to gather its bearings before it can respond to any of my commands. I’ve been wanting to switch to a Chromebook for a while (I especially like the Chromebooks that can flip to become a tablet!) because I don’t really need a computer with a fancy-schmancy operating system and it might be time to think about making the switch.

Buying… pool floats and floppy hats. It’s officially summertime here in Florida and this year, I want to utilize my mom’s pool way more than I did last year. My stepdad is constantly working on the pool, too, so we should take advantage of all his hard labor, right? Ha. I bought a floppy hat from Target to protect my scalp and face when I’m outside, and also couldn’t help buying a pool float so I can relax in the pool with a beverage and my book. If we’re going to have 100+ degree days, I’m going to spend them in the pool.

Loving… my short hair! I am so glad I made the decision to chop off my hair because I am really loving the shorter style and how much easier it is to care for. It’s just so much fun to have shorter hair again, and the style and color just feels very “me.” I’m really happy I made the decision to do a big chop!

What are you currently grateful for and watching?

Categories: Recurring Series

Currently in April

Feeling… a little emotional that my little ladies are turning 4! Eloise’s birthday was on Sunday and Lila’s is next Sunday (Mother’s Day!). I can’t believe that I’ve been a cat mom for this long (before adopting them, I had only ever had dogs). They have added so much happiness to my life. I never knew cats could be so funny and sweet and personable, but my girls totally are. I’m buying them a very fancy new cat tree to celebrate turning another year older, and I’m 100% certain they’ll love the box the cat tree comes in more than the tree itself. The cat life!

Loathing… pregnancy dreams. I have this reoccurring dream where I’m pregnant and single, and suddenly, I decide that I really, really do not want to have this baby anymore. I’m usually well into my pregnancy at this point so it’s not really an option, but I always wake up from the dream feeling so unsettled. (And so happy to wake up not pregnant!) I do not desire motherhood for myself, and I certainly do not desire single motherhood, so I don’t think these dreams are a manifestation of a secret wish for myself. From the googling I’ve done about these dreams, pregnancy dreams (especially if you aren’t pregnant and aren’t trying to be pregnant) represent the birth, or the development, of something new, like a creative project or a budding relationship. And I am in the process of working on something new and exciting (more on that below!), so I think that’s where the dream is coming from. But oof, I really hate these dreams. I get so panicky about being pregnant and having to take care of a real, live human all by myself!

Watching…

  • Bridgerton, season 2 – I didn’t love season 2 as much as season 1. Season 1 gets 5 stars from me, and I’ll give the second season 3 stars. Some people preferred this season, but it was just missing a little bit of the magic that made season 1 so incredible. I’ve heard they may go out of order for season 3, so I’m really hoping we get Eloise’s story next.
  • Brooklyn 99 – I finally finished my rewatch! I didn’t love the final season. I understand why they did what they did with that season, but it felt a little phoned in at times. And final seasons always have a sense of melancholy to them.
  • Superstore, season 5 – I forgot that I was watching this sitcom! I’m speeding through season 5 and loving it. Such a great show.
  • Get Organized with The Home Edit, season 2 – I watched season 1 when I had just moved into my new apartment and it brought me great comfort when I was having a little bit of anxiety. I just started watching their second season and I’m loving it. Organization is something I love and this show just makes me want to quit everything and become a home organizer.

Listening to… The Trojan Horse Affair. It’s a new-ish podcast from Serial, hosted by Brian Reed of S-Town fame. I’m only a few episodes in and I’m enjoying it so far. I love short-form investigative podcasts like this! I don’t listen to enough of them because I can’t really do the true crime ones (my overactive imagination doesn’t mesh well with true crime). But this one has been very interesting!

Grateful… that I can take two really nice vacations this year without completely obliterating my budget. After spending so many years struggling with my finances and sometimes barely making enough to cover my bills, it feels so good to earn an income where I can easily pay my bills, have money to put into savings, and take really nice vacations. And I’m doing it all on my own (the single-person tax is real). I’m not used to having this level of comfort with my finances, and I don’t take it for granted at all.

Anticipating… two weeks off work in June. I will be spending the first half of those two weeks on my Niagara Falls vacation with my mom and the second half will be a little bit of a staycation for me. I am really looking forward to having such a long time off work—I think the last time I took this much time off was in 2019 when my mom and I went to Ireland. It feels almost irresponsible to take so much time off work, which is just the American way, I guess. (But no, I don’t feel guilty enough to rescind my PTO request. I’m taking those two weeks and I’m going to enjoy them!)

Struggling… with my bedtime. It’s like I need someone to come yell at me to TURN OFF THE LIGHT AND GO TO SLEEP. I used to be so diligent about my 9:30 bedtime, but working from home means I don’t have to get up as early so my bedtime has become loosey-goosey. And now that I’ve been using the Sleep Cycle app for a few months, I can see that I’m averaging around 6 hours of sleep a night, which is just not enough sleep for me. I really need to make it a priority to put my ideal nighttime routine into place so that I can start getting the right amount of sleep for my needs.

Thinking about… the difference between diet culture and healthy living. I want to make some changes to my overall diet (that is, what I eat on a daily basis) to stave off heart disease and even prediabetes, but it’s tricky to make sure I’m doing it from a place of love and compassion. I have spent so much time engaging in toxic patterns of diet cycling and then hating myself when I couldn’t live up to an impossible standard I set for myself (1200 calories a day, anyone?) Going on a diet is not something I care to do ever again, but I also know I need to overhaul what I’m eating to make sure I’m doing so in a way that will serve my overall health well into the future. Figuring out how to do that without engaging in anti-fatness rhetoric isn’t easy. But I’m determined to find the balance.

Needing… a pair of comfortable house slippers for standing. I’m still trying to get used to that sit/stand desk life, and one of the things I realized I needed is a pair of comfortable slippers so that I could have a little bit of support and cushioning when I’m standing. (Standing for hours in my bare feet on a hardwood floor is not so great for my feet and ankles.) I’ve been going back and forth on a few pairs on Amazon (current favorites here and here), so I just need to make up my mind!

Buying… podcasting equipment. I’ve been talking in vague terms about the creative project I’m working on with my friend Bri, and most of you have already guessed what it is. Yes, we’re starting a podcast! We’ve been in the planning stages for many months and we’re now ready to start recording some episodes. Bri found this great beginner’s podcasting kit (a microphone, pop filter, and headphones) for $90, so we snatched it up and started playing around with our new equipment last weekend. So far, we’re having fun and I’ll be sure to share all the details with you when we’re ready to release it out into the world!

Loving… mid-morning walks in 70-degree sunshine, chocolate ice cream cones, Wordle, springtime blooms, lazy Sundays where I don’t ever leave my apartment, when a duck is swimming in my mom’s pool, when I find Lila sleeping all snuggled up next to my… spin bike (how is that comfortable?!), three-paycheck months, Monday night dinners with Mom, and the way Ellie stretches out on my office chair for her evening naps.

What are you currently watching and anticipating?