Loving… my new goal of walking 10,000 steps every day. I officially sent in my cancellation notice to my gym, which meant I needed to figure out what I was going to do for exercise. Okay, that’s a lie because I haven’t even been using the gym, but making that decision to quit the gym prompted me to think about what I wanted to do for exercise. And I decided to dust off my FitBit and commit to walking 10,000 steps every day. It is a HARD goal and requires getting in a 30-45 minute walk every day. And also, it forces me to get up from my desk and take short walks outside throughout the day. But I am really enjoying this new challenge. It’s great for my mental health (fresh air! exercise! vitamin d!) and great for sleep because my body is so ready to rest after being in motion all day.

Loathing… SI joint pain. The unpleasant side effect of moving my body to the tune of 10,000 steps a day is that I’m experiencing some soreness and pain in my tailbone. I think it might be my SI joint (that’s what Dr. Google tells me), so I’m trying to do some light stretching after I take a long walk. It seems to be helping, but I also think it may be time for me to visit a chiropractor. I’ve wanted to visit a chiropractor for a really long time because I’m pretty sure my spine is all sorts of jacked up after spending almost a decade at a desk job, even though I’m kinda terrified it will be super painful. But this SI joint pain is also pretty damn painful, so if a chiro can figure it out for me and allow me to friggin walk without pain, it’s worth it.

Watching… the last season of The Office. Y’all. It’s been a struggle to get through this season. The writing is just not at the level I expect from this show, and I kinda hate all of the plotlines. I even stopped it around episode 8 or 9 to watch four seasons of Friends back to back. But I am determined to finish this series at long last! Only a few more episodes to go, and I’m pretty sure I’ll cry like a baby at the series finale. I’m also slowwwwly making my way through season 3 of Mad Men. There’s just something about this show that doesn’t have me on the edge of my seat to watch the next episode, but I also enjoy it when I’m watching it. It’s weird.

Listening to… Dirty John. I know, I know. I’m wayyyy behind on this true crime podcast, but I was a little wary to listen to it because true crime can be a little too much for me. As I suspected, this podcast has been a bit triggering for me, but in a way I didn’t expect. It’s not triggering because of the scary content, but because Dirty John is eerily reminiscent of my dad, right down to the threatening phone messages, blaming his failures on everyone else, and manipulating women. At this point, I’m over halfway done so I think I’ll power through and finish it, but ugh. Why are men so terrible?!

Anticipating… the start of football season. I am so ready for the new NFL season and to spend my Sundays at my mom’s watching the games with my brother. There’s truly nothing better than that!

Grateful… to be feeling the best I’ve felt in a really long time. I would say that this is probably the best I’ve felt in maybe a year? Life has just been hard in a lot of different ways since October, which is when my vet told me it was time to start seriously monitoring Dutch for quality of life. From October – February, I was in a constant state of stress because taking care of a geriatric, blind, deaf dog who had dementia was a lot of work, especially for one person. Not to mention, I was constantly worried about Dutch and trying to make every day as comfortable and happy for him as possible. Then, I had to let Dutch go, and, well, my grief process has been very well documented on this blog. It’s been rough learning to live without him, but I feel like I’m finally beginning to see the light and find my way out. It feels really good.

Needing… to put a ban on Amazon. It’s actually gotten worse and not better since canceling Prime because now I just buy enough to qualify for free shipping (which usually means I add a book to my cart because why not?) and then order. I’ve placed five separate orders in August alone (totaling at least $30 each time…), so I think it’s time for me to tackle a shopping ban in September. My credit card needs a break.

What are you watching and anticipating?

Loving… my mechanic. I’ve been hearing a funny noise when I’m driving, and it’s been happening for over a month now. I finally had the time to take it to my mechanic to get it looked at, and it was diagnosed with bad wheel bearing. It was just under $300 to get it fixed, which is a hit to my budget, but not an unexpected expense. And now my car doesn’t make a funny noise! What makes this my “love” for July is just having a trustworthy mechanic who doesn’t upcharge me. When my mechanic told me it was probably a bad wheel bearing that was causing the noise, but he needed to look at it more closely to diagnose it, I did some Googling and was dismayed to find out the cost would be anywhere from $350-$500. (Double that if it was both front and rear wheel bearings that were bad.) I wasn’t sure if I wanted to put $1,000 in repairs into my car. Thankfully, it was only my rear wheel bearing that was shot and he charged me nearly $100 less than what my research told me. Having a good, honest mechanic is something I’ll never take for granted. (Also, funny story, I told my mechanic that my car had over 110,000 miles on it and he scoffed at that number. “Mine has 245,000.” I’d love for my car to last me another 100,000+ miles! Who knows!)

Loathing… buyer’s remorse. Ugh, it’s the worst. Here’s the story: I’ve had a $10 credit on ThredUp for years after sending in a bag of clothes and I finally decided to cash it in. (For those not aware, ThredUp is an online consignment shop, filled with gently used and like-new clothes, usually from top brands.) I spent $50 and got four shirts and two cardigans, which is a pretty darn good deal considering some of those shirts were from stores like Banana Republic and Loft. And yet… I’m not overly thrilled with my purchases. Not everything fits me like I want it to, which is the main reason I don’t love online shopping. I need to try things on! I could return some of the items (some of it was final sale), and I probably will, but I’m annoyed that ThredUp charges a $9 processing fee for refunds. However, I have wanted to see how the ThredUp buying/returning process worked to see if they were a viable option for finding new clothes and now I can see it’s not worth the hassle. Ya win some, ya lose some.

Watching… Friends. Can’t stop, won’t stop. I’m nearly finished with season three. I’ve put Mad Men on a complete halt while I rewatch Friends. I need the hilarity of this show in my life right now. I’m definitely planning to go back to Mad Men in the future because I do enjoy that show, but it’s a much different viewing experience and requires more of my attention. Friends is such a feel-good, comfort show and I’m leaning into that right now.

Listening to… Hysteria, which is the newest Crooked Media podcast. It’s a female-centric podcast, hosted by Erin Ryan. Every week, she and a group of women talk about stories that affect women’s lives through the lens of politics and culture. I’ve listened to the first three episodes so far and have loved every single one. It’s the kind of podcast that brings me a lot of hope, even in the midst of frustrating news.

Anticipating… my upcoming vision appointment. Am I the only one who actually looks forward to seeing the eye doctor? I love getting my eyes checked! It’s fun to play the “1 or 2” game and find out how my vision has changed from year to year. I’m planning on getting new glasses (somehow, it’s been five years since I got a new pair of glasses, oops) as well as finally purchasing prescription sunglasses. Can you believe I’ve never had prescription sunglasses? One of the main reasons I wear contacts is that I need to wear sunglasses whenever I’m outside (my eyes are super sensitive to light). While I don’t think I’ll ever give up contacts entirely, it’ll be nice to have a choice if I want to wear them or not.

Grateful for… a three-paycheck month and extra income. There are few things more exciting to me than when that three-paycheck month rolls around. And with some extra income coming in through freelance writing, it means I’ll really be able to attack my credit card in August. If I can manage to cut my balance in half, I’ll be one happy camper.

Needing… to make a decision about my gym membership. I’m basically paying my gym $35 a month and not getting anything out of it. I haven’t been in months. I want to keep my gym membership because I like having access to spin classes, but it’s been really hard to motivate myself to attend. Thankfully, they just switched instructors for the Monday and Wednesday morning classes (the instructor they had before was pretty awful and I never felt like I got a good workout when she taught), so I might try to make it to one of those classes to see how I like the new instructor. I know I feel better when I’m consistent with spin classes, but if this new instructor is no good, I might have to cancel my gym membership and figure something else out.

What are you currently loving, loathing, and watching?

Loving… melatonin. I started having insomnia early in June, around the time I was experiencing a particularly brutal depressive episode. Sleep usually comes easily for me, so this insomnia was a very unpleasant visitor! I decided to take matters into my own hands and picked up a bottle of melatonin at the grocery store. I take a 3mg dose and it works wonders for me. I fall asleep easily, stay asleep, and wake up feeling good. God bless you, melatonin.

Loathing… the news, so I’m not paying attention to it right now. Can I do that because I’m in a privileged position? Yup. But the news has been so depressing and so heartbreaking lately that I had to protect my mental health. So, I decided to take a month off. A month off from episodes of Pod Save America, a month off from the news-y email newsletters I get, a month off from constantly reading the news and getting defeated. I had to, or I was going to go crazy. It’s too much for me right now. This administration is sickening. And I needed to step away. I am so glad I did.

Watching… Big Brother! The summer is upon us, friends, and with that comes the only show I watch in real-time. Big Brother is completely ridiculous and I recognize that, but I just can’t quit it. I love that it’s on three days a week and that I can get completely consumed by the people and the backstabbing and the competitions. Bring it on!

Listening to… Jen Gotch is OK Sometimes. I’ve been following Jen Gotch for a while, and I love how open and honest she is about her mental illness. I mean, I started following her the day she was filming herself through a panic attack at an airport! There was something refreshing about it. Not too many people are taking you on the day-to-day journey of what it’s like to struggle with mental illness. So, of course, once Jen said she was starting a podcast, I immediately subscribed. I am really, really loving it. It’s not a polished, perfect thing, but that’s the beauty in it. It’s real. It’s honest. It’s a must-listen for anyone who struggles with mental illness, or for people who want to better understand mental illness.

Anticipating… a weekend trip to Anna Maria Island. I’m taking the trip with my girlfriends, and we rented a house right by the beach. It’ll be a fun, relaxing weekend full of books, silly games, inside jokes, and plenty of naps. 🙂 We know how to travel well together.

Grateful for… a new freelancing assignment. Woo, boy, did it come at the right time. I’ve been a little stressy about money lately because I’ve had several expensive car repairs and have to come up with money for my upcoming vacation ($200 for the rental house, and who knows how much for food and activities). Argh! It feels like I can never get ahead with my finances, sometimes. Thankfully, my car will be paid off next month and that will free up over $200 in my budget. Thank the Lord.

Needing… to make another appointment to get my vehicle inspected. The service center I took it to last week told me my car was fine and no repairs or replacements were necessary. And I find that really hard to believe, especially with the way it’s been driving lately. Honestly, I think they only checked the battery, brakes, and tires – all of which have been replaced within the last six months. I wish I would have clarified with the service center but hello, social anxiety. I couldn’t get the words out. Sigh. I think I need to get a second opinion about the car, and I’m going to take her to a local mechanic to get a real inspection and make sure I clarify what parts of my car I want inspected (i.e., the belts, the fluids, spark plugs, etc.) Also, I realize what a boring paragraph this is. You’re welcome?

What are you currently watching and anticipating? 

Loving… my fur-brother. Oh, you guys. He is so sweet and cute and funny and fun. He’s tiny – only 3 lbs – but he has so much sassiness in that little body of his. I’ve been trying to visit my mom as much as possible so that I can snuggle and play with him, and she brought him over on my last two work-from-home days so that I could puppy-sit him. Having a sleeping sausage curled next to me while I work is the best feeling ever. I missed it so much!

Loathing… sinus infections. I started feeling crummy over the weekend, waking up on Saturday to nasal congestion and lots of sneezing. I just got over being ill (I was sick the week after my cruise), so I was not too pleased with my body. This time around, though, it was obvious this wasn’t my typical cold because I was having a lot of sinus pressure and dealing with a low-grade fever. To the doctor I went, where she diagnosed me with a sinus infection and prescribed an antibiotic.

Watching… Scandal! I wasn’t able to keep up with the show after the winter finale, so I’ve been waiting for it to come available on Netflix. Scandal is seriously the perfect show to binge-watch, so I can’t help but watch multiple episodes a night (which is so unlike me – it took me three months to watch one season of Mad Men, ha). It’s amazing, though, to think about how ridiculous Scandal’s plotlines used to be… and now it feels like every new thing that happens in politics today is ripped from a Scandal script. Sigh.

Listening to… When in Romance. This is a new-ish podcast from Book Riot, featuring two of their contributors who are mega-fans of the romance genre. Every other week, they talk about news from romance-landia as well as make romance recommendations. It’s really fun but has made my romance TBR explode, ahh. Anyway, give it a listen if you love podcasts and the romance genre.

Anticipating… a three-day weekend. I’m not even planning on doing anything for Memorial Day, but I’m just excited to relax and enjoy a day off work. There’s something so indulgent about not working on a Monday, isn’t there?

Grateful for… helpful doctors. After feeling so crummy over the weekend, I scheduled an appointment at my primary care facility for Monday where I was given such amazing care. My regular doctor wasn’t able to see me, so I saw a different doctor and she was just so darn nice! She asked a ton of questions and really took her time with me – she didn’t just push an antibiotic on me immediately. When you’re feeling crummy, kindness from the medical staff feels extra nice, so I was happy to have such a positive experience with this facility.

Needing… to get back into my healthy living game. Man, it has been so hard to get back into it after my cruise because I’ve been sick for the majority of May and then the weeks when I haven’t been sick have been so busy that healthy living takes a backseat. It’s been very frustrating, but I’m also trying to not beat myself up about it too much. After all, my self-worth does not lie with the scale. And being kind to myself is always going to motivate me more than berating myself.

What are you currently loving, loathing, and grateful for?

Loving… the plans I’m making for my living room redo. I am really, really looking forward to changing up the look and feel of my living room because, right now, it kinda drives me crazy. My sectional is so big that I’m never able to go outside on my patio… unless I want to crawl over the sectional to do so. Even opening the blinds is a hassle because I have to climb onto the sectional to open them. My plan is to get a smaller couch (something like this), a nice area rug to fill up most of the room, a floor lamp, and a new TV stand. I’d also love to get a plant to put in the corner of my living room (something like this, perhaps). Ahhh… it’s going to be so nice when it’s finally all put together. (Plus, I’m forcing myself to stay off animal rescue websites until my living room is complete, so once that’s done, I can start the search for a new dog or cat in full force!)

Loathing… unexpected car expenses. I had to replace my car battery on Sunday. I could have probably driven it a little longer on the current battery, but car issues give me massive anxiety, so I decided to take care of it right away. Honestly, I cannot remember the last time I had to change my car battery, so it had a good run! Still, this is the third time something crazy has happened to my car around the time I’m taking a vacation (I got a flat tire on the highway the day I came back from Asheville, and my check engine light came on a few days before I left for Puerto Rico), so I guess it’s just my thing now.

Watching… Friends! I never really watched Friends when the show was running (I think I watched the last two seasons, but I definitely wasn’t allowed to watch it in the earlier seasons), and I’ve only seen episodes here and there. I know all of the big plot points and can recognize all of the most memorable quotes, but I’ve never actually sat down and watched the series from beginning to end. So I decided to do that now, and y’all, it’s so damn good. I think I forgot how funny this show was and how it really set the stage for sitcoms to come.

Listening to… Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard. This podcast is a must listen in my opinion, but it’s not for the faint of heart. Each episode is around two hours in length, but I’m not someone who cares much about the length of a podcast episode, especially if it involves a super intriguing conversation. In this podcast, Dax interviews some really great celebrities to talk about… basically everything under the sun. They definitely get into the nitty-gritty of Hollywood and how they got their start, but the conversation always evolves from there. And, man, he has some incredible guests on, like Jimmy Kimmel, Ellen DeGeneres, Adam Scott, etc. Every week, I have so much anticipation for who he’s going to have next!

Anticipating… my cruise, of course! Today is actually my last full day in the office before I leave. Tomorrow, I’m working from home and Friday is a half-day. AHHHH. I can’t believe it’s almost time! It’s been 18 months since I was last on a cruise ship and that’s way too long for me. I am so excited to spend seven days with my favorite human and have a full week to relax and enjoy that #cruiselife.

Grateful for… friends. The past week or so has been such a lovely time of friend dates and get-togethers. Last week, I had three one-on-one friend dates, either to meet up for lunch or dinner. I attended my friend’s 30th birthday party, which was a BLAST. Everyone totally loved my outfit and raved about my overalls. (If only I felt confident enough in them to wear them in regular life!) And Monday night was book club at our favorite pizza place! All in all, my heart is so damn full and I am so happy that these girls are in my life.

Needing… to make my packing list for my cruise! I need to figure out what things I need to pick up at Target before we leave on Saturday morning, but life has been crazy busy lately and I just haven’t found the time. I’ll probably do this tonight.

What are you currently anticipating?