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Stephany Writes

Categories: Life

The One with the Author Signing

Last week, I had the exciting opportunity to attend Taylor Jenkins Reid’s author signing in Tampa. We don’t get a ton of author signings – at least for authors I’m excited about – here, so it was a thrill to meet her, learn about her newest novel, and hear more about her writing process. In fact, meeting TJR was exactly what I needed to get inspired by my own novel and to understand that most authors, no matter how many books they’ve already written, always have that fear of “oh my god, what am I even doing?”

TJR’s newest book, Daisy Jones & the Six, is an oral history of a fictional band from the 70s, and it’s a book I probably wouldn’t have been totally interested in if TJR wasn’t the author. I’m not much of a music person, nor am I into oral histories (and to be honest, I haven’t read the book yet, so I could end up not liking it!) but the way TJR described this book and her writing process engaged me completely. The most interesting thing I think I learned is that TJR isn’t the biggest music person either, but an idea to write an oral history just popped into her head and she went with it. It meant a lot of research about oral histories and music and drugs (she was really honest about how much she didn’t know about drug culture in the 70s, haha).

I was so inspired by this idea that you actually don’t have to write what you know. That’s what we’re all told, right? The best way to write is to write what you know. Your writing comes from a more authentic place then, it reads more realistically. And it’s not as if I disagree with that advice, but more that I feel like I was given permission to write what inspires me, not just what I’m familiar with. Even if it means many more hours of research and feeling like I’m flailing about. That’s okay because that’s the beauty of the writing process. We get to learn and experiment, discovering new ideas and testing out different characters.

I was inspired by TJR’s writing process, and how she described those hours and hours of trying to get the tone exactly right. I think that’s what’s so complicated about writing, how solitary it is. We just spend so much time in our own heads, crafting dialogue and plot and scenery, and just hoping we’re getting it right. Hoping it’s not boring or unrelatable or straight-up trash. Hoping this thing we’re writing won’t be another Word doc filed away on our computers, but an actual book that people can hold in their hands. A book that can heal or help or charm or entertain or cry over or stun. TJR had this crazy idea and decided to give it a try, but I can only imagine how much she had to fight against her fear and resist that little voice inside her head that told her she wasn’t good enough to write a book like this. We all have this voice, and TJR herself said that she kept thinking that she had no business writing an oral history of a fake 70s rock band. And yet… she did it. She wrote the book. She pushed through the fear. All we see is the polished, final product. We don’t see the blood, sweat, and tears. We don’t know what that first draft looked like. We don’t know how many mornings she woke up, sat down in front of her computer, and couldn’t get started.

During the question-and-answer part of the event, someone asked about TJR’s evolution as a writer. TJR started her career writing contemporary romance. Each book brought to life one of her fears as a newly married woman: what if something happens to my husband? what if we fall out of love? what if? what if? And then… after four sweet romances, she was done. She didn’t have anything left to say. At least in that genre. So, she transitioned to a different genre. She wrote The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo and later, Daisy Jones & The Six, two novels that are completely removed from the romance genre. There’s just something so lovely and human in that. It reminds me to stay open and curious. Because romance may be the genre I find myself writing right now, but that doesn’t mean I’ve pigeonholed myself. It doesn’t mean I can’t move into historical fiction or thrillers or dystopian YA in the future.

TJR’s author event was everything I could have wanted. She was a sweet, humble, gracious, and kind person. I couldn’t have asked for anything better! (Okay, perhaps I would have preferred that I hadn’t stumbled over all my words and acted like the most awkward person ever when she signed my books, but alas.)

Categories: Life

Monthly Recap | February 2019

READING

I read 8 books in February, nearly half of what I read in January. But January was a really crazy month in terms of reading, so this is much more my speed. My top three books from the month were:

  • Anne of Green Gables by L.M. Montgomery, which was a reread for me. This series was my grandma’s favorite and it was almost like she was here with me as I read this book. <3
  • They Can’t Kill Us All by Wesley Lowery, which was a heartbreaking account of police violence and the rise of the Black Lives Matter movement.
  • I Let You Go by Claire Mackintosh, which was such an engaging thriller involving a hit-and-run that killed a child. I could not have predicted that first twist for the life of me!

WATCHING

  • Mad Men, season 4 – I finally finished season 4 of Mad Men this month! I really don’t know if I’m enjoying this show and yet, I keep watching it. It’s not one that I feel like I *need* to watch to know what happens next. Maybe shows like Scandal and How to Get Away with Murder have ruined me. All the “crazy” things that happen on Mad Men seem like a regular episode of Scandal, ha.
  • Grace and Frankie, season 5 – I was so happy to see that the new season of one of my favorite Netflix series dropped! I fiercely adore Lily Tomlin and Jane Fonda, and the way their friendship has evolved through each season makes my heart so happy. This season was a delight!

BUYING

  • Instant Pot – I bought an Instant Pot in early February when they went on sale, and I haven’t regretted the decision once. I’ve made a couple of meals in it, including one-pot spaghetti that was so damn easy (and delicious!) that I think I may have a new favorite meal.
  • HEXBURG Nano Robotic Cat Toy – I bought this toy on Kim’s recommendation, and my cats go crazy for it. The first time I brought it out, they followed it around for 20 minutes. I keep it tucked away and bring it out a few times a week as a special treat for them.
  • Girl Scout cookies – Yassssss. Girl Scout cookie season is my favorite. One of my coworkers sells it for his daughter (I realize this is cheating, but please don’t judge me on how I get my GS cookies) and I picked up three boxes of Thin Mints, one box of Savannah Smiles, and one box of Tagalongs, and I am one happy camper.

LISTENING TO

  • Boss Ladies on Call Your Girlfriend – I loved this episode where Ann and Amina get real honest about their lives as self-employed boss ladies. They talk about money, how they charge for their work, their career trajectories, etc. I don’t have any desire to be self-employed but I liked hearing about how it works for them.
  • Elephants: The Best Animals? on Stuff You Should Know – Oh, my heavens. Elephants have to be some of the sweetest animals alive. I loved this episode from Josh and Chuck, especially the story about two elephants who reunited after decades and went absolutely batshit crazy about seeing each other. Elephants, definitely the best animals.
  • No Thanks, We’re Booked – I only recently started listening to this bookish podcast, so I’m currently catching up on their archive. Each episode tackles a different subject through a bookish lens. For example, one of their earliest episodes was about the Enneagram, and they typed different literary characters to explain it. It’s a fun listen and the hosts have such soothing voices. It’s one of those podcasts I can put on and know I’ll be in a better mood when I finish it.

THE HIGHS

  • Adopting Lila – No doubt, the biggest part of my year so far has been welcoming a second kitten into my life. Although I have been planning to adopt a second cat, I was surprised how quickly it happened! Lila has now been in my life for a few weeks now, and I can’t imagine it without her. She fits so seamlessly into our little family! There was some jealousy and fighting in the beginning between Eloise and Lila. (The first time I ever heard Eloise hiss was at Lila!) But Eloise now lets me snuggle Lila without getting between us, haha, and I’ve even caught them snuggling together and licking each other’s fur a few times, so I think things will be A-OK. Lila is still a little skittish around me but will also climb right onto my chest and stare at my face until I pet her. It’s the sweetest thing!
  • Galentine’s Day – Every year, my friend B. and I meet for a Galentine’s Day celebration of our friendship. This year, we made plans to celebrate on Valentine’s Day and it was everything I could have wanted! Valentine’s Day is always a hard day for me, even though I wish it wasn’t and I wish I could be happy with the other loves I have in my life, but it is. It was nice to spend the evening with B., getting totally and completely spoiled by her. She brought me flowers, chocolate, and a card, even! We ordered pizza, watched episodes of Parks & Rec as well as a comedy special, and snuggled together on the couch. It was the perfect evening.
  • A night at the beach bar – My friend, A., and I live super close to a beach bar so we made plans to meet up on a Saturday night to scope it out, order some drinks, and try to flirt with cute guys. (We’re both single and ready to mingle, for sure!) While we didn’t end up leaving with any numbers, we did have fun sipping fruity cocktails, talking about the dating scene, and people-watching.

THE LOWS

  • A depressive episode – It was so helpful to have a therapy appointment right as I felt a depressive episode begin because we were able to identify what was causing these feelings (mostly family drama that I wanted to make better but was totally outside my control). We also figured out some things I could put in place to help me make it through this episode, like no longer listening to depressing, heavy podcasts. While the depressive episode didn’t last as long as the one I experienced last year, it was still so damn awful to be in the middle of it and not know how long it would last. I’m happy to report, though, that I’m out of the depression and feeling so much more like myself.
  • A fender bender – Ugh, this was so annoying. Thankfully, it was mostly a side swipe that happened in my apartment complex as I was pulling out onto a busy main road. This dude decided I was taking too long to turn so he tried to go around me and as he did, he swiped right across my bumper. Thankfully, the most damage my car sustained was a few scratches. I just hope this dude learned his lesson. Wait your goddamn turn!
  • Bug bites – I’m particularly prone to allergic reactions to mosquito bites, especially ones on my feet, so I spent the last week of the month with swollen feet and so much itchiness. I swear, though, is there anything more euphoric than scratching a mosquito bite? I THINK NOT.

ANTICIPATING

  • Daylight Saving Time!!! Hold tight, everyone. We only have a few more days left and then we get our BRIGHT EVENINGS back. I look forward to DST every year (and wish we could do away with going off it for the winter) so I have this date circled and marked on all my calendars.
  • An author signing – A few friends and I are going to Taylor Jenkins Reid’s signing this month, and I can’t wait! It’s my first author signing! Authors never come to my area, so this is a treat and the fact that it’s one of my favorite authors is even better.
  • Paying off my credit card – Hopefully! I think I should be able to make this happen since I’m doing a no-spend month and will get three paychecks over the course of March. Fingers crossed!

Tell me a highlight from February for you!

Categories: Life

Operation Write My Novel | February Recap

After having a very successful writing month in January… February did not go so well. It was a combination of feeling mentally unwell and being busy and just letting excuses get in the way of writing. It happens! It’s the reality of trying to write a novel while also working a full-time job, maintaining a blog, and trying to have a social life. But since I am committed to writing these posts and keeping everyone updated on what the novel-writing process really looks like, here’s my honest recap:

Week 5 (January 28 – February 3)

  • Words written: 4,046
  • Chapters written: 1
  • Things researched: “record sleeves,” “vinyl records,” “filched definition,” “unique drinks to make,” “bijou cocktail history,” “affectionate names in french to say to a friend,” “french foods”

I had such a fun time writing this week, even though I had to really challenge myself to sit down and do it. Some weekends, I just don’t want to worry about writing! But alas, as one of my cheerleading coaches once told me when I didn’t go to practice one evening (I was ten, by the way): “This isn’t a ‘want’ thing.” So I sat down and wrote, and lo and behold, it was fun! The whole chapter involved my two characters meeting for the first time and getting to know one another.

During my writing date, I edited chapter 3, which was probably the most difficult chapter to write. Once I finished editing it, I said to my writing partner, “Are you ready to cry your fucking eyes out?” Because that’s basically what this chapter does. Or, at least, that’s what I want this chapter to do. It needs to have an emotional impact, so I wanted to know how she would react to it. And… once I finished reading it, she told me she needed to take a minute because she was so emotional. YASS. Actually, I needed to take a minute, too, because it really was! Whew. But at least I know I’m hitting the right emotional tone with that chapter.

Week 6 (February 4-10)

  • Words written: 0
  • Chapters written: 0
  • Things research: n/a

Oof, I took a zero for this week. I think I just needed a weekend off after five straight weeks of writing and editing all weekend long. It was a good break and I did not feel bad about taking the zero. I was also in the middle of a depressive episode this week, and I just didn’t have the mental stamina to sit down at my laptop and write about a fun and happy romance. Life happens, and I know I’m going to have weeks where writing is impossible.

However, I did end up editing a chapter because I met up with my friend for our weekly writing date and was able to focus enough to read through one of my earlier chapters. This chapter was interesting to edit because I switched between past and present tense throughout this chapter. This is weirdly something I do often when writing. My novel is supposed to be in past tense but I slipped into present tense for a few paragraphs here and there. So… a lot of my editing this week was fixing my tense mistakes. Heh.

Week 7 (February 11-17)

  • Words written: 1,503
  • Chapters written: 1
  • Things researched: n/a

I wrote the majority of this chapter during my writing date because I was a little busy this weekend, as I had adopted Lila and was focused on getting her settled into her new home. 🙂 A good excuse, don’t you think? Thankfully, I still got my chapter for the week done because it was a short chapter. I wasn’t able to edit any of my previous chapters this week, which puts me a little behind. I may need to add in a few extra writing sessions soon so I can catch up.

Week 8 (February 18-24)

  • Words written: 0
  • Chapters written: 0
  • Things researched: n/a

Oops, another goose egg for the month. I don’t even have a great excuse for this one, only that I had a busy weekend and in the free time I did have, I didn’t feel like writing. I feel like I’m getting into more of the “meat” of my story and it’s typical for me to lose steam now. This is when I started really doubting myself and having such resistance to writing. This week, I couldn’t push through the resistance.

During my writing date, M. and I spent the first hour having a super deep conversation about dating, relationships, and the baggage we bring to each. It was cathartic and necessary but it also meant that I didn’t really feel like beginning to write when I knew I only had an hour to get anything down. It’s a silly excuse because getting any words down is better than getting no words down but alas, I did not do so. I think I may add in an extra writing session once a week throughout the month of March to help me catch up from a very lackluster February. Oof.

Categories: Life

And Then There Were Three

I’d like you to meet the newest member of my little family. This is Lila. She is nine months old, and I adopted her this weekend from a rescue.

I’ve been thinking about adopting another cat for a while. Originally, my plan was to adopt two kittens, preferably siblings, but then Eloise came into my life in the most serendipitous way possible. And I think adjusting to cat mom life with one cat who was just out of the kitten stage, rather than two rambunctious kittens at one time, was exactly what I needed.

But I wanted Eloise to have a sibling. I waited until she was settled in her new home and comfortable with me before beginning a search. It’s been a little over two months since I adopted Eloise and in that time, she has blossomed and has become my little shadow. Last week, a friend came over and kept remarking about how different Eloise seemed from the first time she met her. She’s now queen of the castle, just as I had hoped.

I had been following my shelter’s website for a while and continuing to fall in love with kittens, only to see their pictures removed the next day. I finally decided to take a trip to the shelter with a fellow cat-loving friend on Saturday just to look. Maybe I’d find my furever friend, maybe not.

Lila was the first cat I saw. She was one of their newer rescues, arriving at the shelter a week ago. Like Eloise, she was found by a cat rescuer. Lila showed up one day outside the rescuer’s home and while she was trying to coax Lila inside, Lila was attacked by a tomcat. Lila ran away but showed up at the rescuer’s house again a few days later, and this time, she was able to trap her and bring her inside.

Lila’s cage had a warning. It said, “I’m shy. Please go slow and play with me in my cage.” How could I not fall in love with a cat who had that warning on her cage? Kindred spirits, I tell you.

I stuck my fingers in the slats of her cage and she immediately came up to me and rubbed against them. Then she flopped down in a playful manner and continued to rub her face all over my fingers. She was so in tune with me from the beginning, so playful and adorable.

It was instantaneous love. I tried looking at the other cats at the shelter, and also tried to convince myself that it was crazy to adopt a cat so soon It felt so spontaneous! (This is also how I felt before adopting Eloise, ha.) But I also knew that if I left the shelter without her, or if I looked on their website next week to see her picture gone, I would be devastated.

When it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be. You know?

I took her home on Saturday and have spent the weekend trying to introduce her and Eloise slowly. Eloise hasn’t been too keen on our new family member just yet. The one time I brought Eloise into the room with Lila, Eloise took one of her toys and when Lila tried to get it back, Eloise batted at her head and hissed at her. Sooo. It might be a process for them to fall in love.

Lila, though, she’s been an angel. She’s spending a lot of her time hiding under my bed but will emerge if I sit down on the floor and call to her. She will come up to me for pets and even flop down in my lap, and it’s honestly the sweetest thing ever. It warms my heart.

Of course, I have some reservations. I worry that Eloise will think I don’t love her enough. I worry about them never actually getting along. I worry about the financials of taking care of two cats. I worry that I haven’t handled the introduction as well as I should have. I worry that I may be turning into a crazy cat lady. (<– okay, that’s a joke. I don’t care if I’m a crazy cat lady!)

But it’s normal to have these worries, especially if you’re like me and seem to thrive on worrying about every possible worst-case scenario. It’s not a small step to take, adopting a cat, and it’s going to take some time for all of us to get used to this new normal. I am so, so happy, though, to have grown our family with this new little baby. Lila is the perfect addition, and now we are a full-on girl power home.

Welcome to your new furever home, my little lady love. I’m so happy you’re here.

Categories: Life

Monthly Recap | January 2019

New year, new recap style! I like to keep everyone on their toes when it comes to how I’m going to recap my month. 🙂 In this recap, I’ll be talking about what I read, watched, bought, and listened to, as well as talk about the highs and lows of the month. At the end, I’ll detail a few things I’m looking forward to in the following month. Let’s get to it!

READING

I read 15 books in January, which is the most I’ve ever read in a month. Three of the books were on audio and I participated in a readathon, so I think that had a lot to do with my high number! My top three reads were:

  • We Were the Lucky Ones by Georgia Hunter, a WWII novel that was unlike anything I’ve read in the subgenre and stands out as one of my favorites.
  • Act Like It by Lucy Parker, a really fun romance novel that had likable characters, realistic dialogue, and not-too-steamy love scenes (so I’d feel comfortable recommending it to people who aren’t into the romance genre but want a fun, light, easy read).
  • The Alice Network by Kate Quinn, a fictionalized account of a real-life women’s spy network that operated during World War I.

WATCHING

  • Big Little Lies – I was (lovingly) guilt-tripped into watching Big Little Lies, the HBO miniseries based on the book by Liane Moriarty. And I loved it, aside from a plotline that wasn’t in the book but they put in the series and left me with a bad taste in my mouth. But, other than that, I thought the series was extremely well-produced and the casting was spot-on. I also have all of the heart-eyes for the soundtrack.
  • Cheers, season 1 – I don’t know what possessed me to start Cheers, other than never knowing any references to the show that I felt I should understand. Plus, young Ted Danson! Young! Ted! Danson! He’s a damn hottie in Cheers. I finished season one in January and am looking forward to starting season two.

BUYING

  • Flights to Ireland – I never expected that I’d be planning a trip to Ireland this year! But the flights were so cheap that it would have been a mistake not to book. This was actually not my biggest expense of January, though, if you can believe that!
  • Cat dancer toy – For $2, this is easily the best toy I have ever gotten Eloise. She loves it and I have to hide it from her because if she sees it, she’ll meow at me until I bring it out and use it.
  • Car insurance at half the price – This is the most boring adult thing I could add to this list but whatever. I have been using Geico for car insurance since I started driving but their rates were becoming astronomical so when I found out I could get the same coverage for half the price using a different (well-known) company? Hells yeah. I signed up right away and couldn’t be happier.

LISTENING TO

  • Unladylike’s two-part series on diet culture was fascinating, especially learning all the ways white supremacy has had a hand in it. I really encourage anyone to give it a listen.
  • For episode 69 of Good Christian Fun, the Gilmore Guys reunited! It was so fun to have the Kevin + Demi rapport back on my podcast feed. They just work so well together. I truly enjoyed every minute of this episode.
  • Stuff You Should Know’s episode titled The Great Finger in the Wendy’s Chili Caper was so much fun and crazy. Lots of twists and turns I wasn’t expecting!

THE HIGHS

  • Having a major breakthrough in therapy and actually crying in her office for the first time! I have been going to her since August and have never cried. I’ve come close a few times but have always held back. I don’t even know why! It’s therapy! You’re supposed to cry in therapy! But it’s just hard for me. I hope this is the first of many breakthroughs.
  • Doing the #24in48 readathon. While I didn’t come close to reading for 24 hours, I still had so much fun participating and getting as close as I could.
  • Going on a book-buying spree using gift cards! I picked up seven books to add to my bookshelf. It’s so funny how just a few years ago, I never bought books unless they were on Kindle but I recently got the urge to have bookshelves full of books in my home and I’m slowly building up a solid collection. I’m nearly out of space on my tiny, three-shelf bookshelves (I can only really use two of the shelves, though) and it’ll be time to upgrade to something bigger and much nicer.

THE LOWS

  • January was a very spendy month – one-off things, like auto insurance and plane tickets and new tires for my car. It’s made me feel a bit anxious, so I hope February is quieter for my bank account.
  • My blood work came back with some troubling numbers. The short of it is that I’m on the cusp of pre-diabetes (type 2) and if I don’t get control over my eating habits and start exercising more, things could go downhill fast. My doctor and I worked out a plan and I’m going to work hard to lose weight and eat healthier, and get retested in six months.
  • Eloise fell into a pattern this month of waking me up at 4AM to play and sometimes to be fed. And I was getting up with her and feeding her because it was much easier than waiting her out. I’ve started giving her lots of playtime in the evening, filling up her bowl at night (she’s more of a grazer anyway so it works better for her), and not getting up when she meows at me at 4AM. Mama is tired!

ANTICIPATING…

  • Potentially attending my first Silent Reading Party in downtown St. Pete. Just have to summon up the courage to go!
  • Going on a walk every day in February (five days in and so far, so good!)
  • Filing my taxes and crossing my fingers I get a decent return this year

What’s a high and/or low of January for you? What was the best book you read this month?

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Welcome!

Hi, I'm Stephany! (She/her) I'm a 30-something single lady, living in Florida. I am a bookworm, cat mom, podcaster, and reality TV junkie. I identify as an Enneagram 9, an introvert, and a Highly Sensitive Person. On this blog, you will find stories about my life, book reviews, travel experiences, and more. Welcome!

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