Recurring Series

Five for Friday: The “I’m Falling Apart” Edition

My life is now just one doctor’s appointment after another. I turned 37 and suddenly started falling apart. Let’s discuss.

1) BRAIN

I had an appointment with my psychiatrist this week, and we discussed my anxiety symptoms. I do feel like Prozac has helped decrease my frequent anxiety spirals—now, I can bring my brain back online much more quickly than I used to, and that’s a major improvement! In its place, however, are random spikes of anxiety that come out of nowhere. Yesterday, I was sitting at my desk, wrapping up work for the day, when my heart started racing and butterflies began a dance party in my stomach. No reason for the anxiety, but there it was. So, we’re going to increase my dosage of Prozac (we started off at a lower dose to get my body used to the new medication) and she also prescribed an as-needed medication that I can take during those random high-anxiety moments. So here’s hoping things start to improve!

2) SKIN

I have an appointment with my dermatologist next week. It’s my routine skin check that I get twice a year since I’m prone to moles, and those moles are prone to have skin cancer markers. It’s fun times! I also need to talk about my lingering scalp psoriasis issue. While things have dramatically improved from where I was a year ago, thanks to steroid shots, I have started to notice that the psoriasis has moved to the skin behind my ears, next to my scalp. I’ve been using the prescription lotions my doctor has given me, but I’m not seeing any improvements. So hooray, more issues to talk about with my derm!

3) UTERUS

I have an ultrasound scheduled for next Thursday! I sent a message to my gynecologist in the patient portal on Monday afternoon, telling her all about my heavy periods and intense cramps, and within a few hours, someone from her office called me to schedule the ultrasound. I have Thursday off work, so it worked out perfectly. I can get this taken care of and then have the rest of the day to take it easy. It’s a really good thing I met my deductible this year—it’s nice to do all of these specialist appointments and tests without paying a dime!

Fingers crossed I don’t have any fibroids or polyps! If I don’t, I will definitely make an appointment to get an IUD to see if that helps lessen these intense periods.

4) BUTT

After four months of chronic digestive issues, I finally decided to see a GI doctor. I was really hoping this issue would go away on its own, but no such luck. I had my appointment yesterday, and I left the office in a daze, overwhelmed by all of the different tests my new doctor ordered for me. There was a part of me that wanted to just throw everything away, cancel all the tests, and pretend that everything is FINE because it’s going to be a lot and may not provide me with answers I like.

But then I was in the bathroom almost every hour yesterday afternoon and evening, and realized I need to know what’s going on. My body is not functioning normally and I can’t live this way forever. So I am going to be a big girl, get the tests done, and hope for the best.

Over the next few weeks, I’m going to get blood work done to test for certain food intolerances, schedule an abdominal ultrasound to see if there’s anything going on with my gallbladder (or liver/pancreas/kidneys, although the doc is most concerned with my gallbladder), and send in a stool sample, which should just be the most fun to handle. I am also scheduled for a colonoscopy on July 18th! I am very much dreading all of the prep, but everyone tells me it’s “not so bad” and I’m choosing to believe them. I am very grateful that my doctor listened to my concerns and ordered a ton of different tests to get a comprehensive look at my digestive system so we can figure out what’s going on.

5) NERVES

And last but not least, I’m also dealing with carpal tunnel pain! I already talked about my upcoming nerve conduction study (July 22) and I’m very curious to see where things stand with that because I’m back to waking up with numb fingers and pain, even though I only got the steroid shot a few weeks ago. Imagine if I need to have carpal tunnel surgery on top of dealing with all of my other ailments.

I am falling apart, you guys.

Categories: Recurring Series

TGIF (v. 76)

The high of my week was meeting Moose! My brother and his family recently adopted this adorable dog who had a very bad previous owner. He didn’t take Moose for walks (even though he lived in an apartment!) and underfed him. So Moose has a lot of anxiety right now and needs a lot of tender loving care. Which he is definitely getting now! He is the sweetest boy and the whole time my mom and I were at my brother’s house, Moose kept bringing us toys to play with. It was so cute! I’m totally in love with this big, goofy dog!

The low of my week was my period. I used to have easy-peasy periods—four days, normal flow, little cramping. But in the past year, my periods have gotten really bad. They are lasting longer, way heavier than they used to be, and the cramps are awful. Once or twice during every period, I am usually up in the middle of the night running a hot bath for myself because it’s the only thing that makes me feel better. I heard that periods tend to get much more intense before a woman starts going through perimenopause. I’m only 37, so a bit young for that, but who knows? The easiest thing to do is to get on birth control, which is not my favorite, but I’m not sure how many more of these intense periods I can deal with.

I’m currently reading three books. I’m still slowly marching through Stamped from the Beginning. I’m nearly at the halfway point, though! It is not a very engaging read, but I’m determined to keep on. I’m also reading The Three Lives of Cate Kay by Kate Fagan, although I haven’t picked up the book since Monday. Oops! And on audio, I have about two hours left of Pete and Alice in Maine by Caitlin Shetterly. I don’t think I like this book at all, but it’s a short audiobook so I’m just powering through.

A Reel I loved was this adorable Reel that Kim sent me. I love the internet when it’s used for things like this. People are so creative!

A show I watched this week was New Girl! I am nearly done with season 2 and it has been such a delight. I can’t believe I took such a long break between watching seasons 1 and 2! Gah.

A podcast episode I enjoyed was Power Ranking the Books of 2005 on the Book Riot podcast. This was a fun walk down memory lane! While Jeff and Rebecca’s taste diverge from mine quite drastically, I enjoyed this look back on some of the top books of 2005 and what made them stand out. I totally didn’t realize this was the year Twilight was released!

The best money I spent this week was $25 on lunch yesterday. Yesterday was not a great day; I was very moody, work was “something else” (to borrow a phrase from Birchie), and my cramps were not letting up. So I decided to order something off Ubereats for lunch and it was a great decision. I didn’t have the energy or desire to make something at home, and this was easy, simple, and satisfying.

My plans this weekend include nothing much! I don’t have any plans tonight so I’ll probably try to finish up season 2 of New Girl. Saturday is another low-key day with no plans until game night in the evening. I might do a mini-reading retreat in the morning/afternoon to see if I can finish The Three Lives of Cate Kay before May is over. And Sunday, I will do a workout at the gym, have a writing date with Mikaela, and run some errands. It will be a lovely mix of downtime and productivity!

What was the high of your week? What’s a show you watched this week?

Categories: Recurring Series

TGIF (v. 75)

The high of my week was doing kitten yoga with my friend Amber. Our local cat cafe in Tampa, Cats & Caffeine, has a fun event a few times a month where you can do yoga surrounded by cats! It was such a fun time, and I definitely got my heart rate up during the workout, too! The cats were a delight to watch throughout the class, and some lucky participants had cats curl up on their yoga mats to snooze away. After class, we got to play with the cats, which was probably my favorite part of the night.

The low of my week was learning that Eloise is going to need dental work. Sigh. I knew this would be coming at some point. The vet gave me an estimate of the cost (on the low end: $1,300), which nearly made me faint. I’m going to see how other vet practices in my area compare before making a decision. I mean, I’ll pay whatever is necessary but that feels wildly expensive!

I’m currently reading three books. On audio, I’m halfway done with The Third Gilmore Girl by Kelly Bishop, which has been as delightful as I expected. I’m working my way through Stamped From the Beginning by Ibram X. Kendi. This book is dense and every day, I set a timer for 20 minutes and read as many pages as I can. My pace is slow, but I’m learning a lot. And finally, I am rereading a beloved historical romance, Nine Rules to Break When Romancing a Rake by Sarah MacLean.

A Reel I loved was this very appropriate cat video. All cat owners can relate!

A show I watched this week was Survivor’s season finale! I won’t give any spoilers for anyone else who is watching this season and hasn’t watched the finale yet, but it was a pretty good one. I liked this season and especially the Joe and Eva dynamic. That brought such a different level of humanness to what can be a very strategic and cutthroat game. I watched this season while listening to the “official” Survivor podcast, On Fire with Jeff Probst, which was such a neat experience. It was cool getting all of the behind-the-scenes details about how the show is made!

The best money I spent was $10 on a mystery coloring book. A friend told me about this coloring, and I was all in. Each page starts off blank, except for tiny circles scattered across the page, each marked with a number. The numbers match up with certain colors and as you fill them in, little by little, a picture begins to take shape. How cool is that?! I really love that it’s color-by-numbers, too, so it’s truly a mindless activity that I can do while watching TV or listening to an audiobook.

My plans this weekend include not a whole lot! Tonight, I am planning on making nachos and finally watching Dirty Dancing. Tomorrow, I have a pedicure scheduled in the morning and then my mom and I are going on a shopping extravaganza. Sunday, the only thing on my agenda is my writing date with Mikaela. And Monday is Memorial Day! I will probably go to my mom’s house for some pool time.

What was the high of your week?

Categories: Recurring Series

Three Things Thursday (v. 14)

It’s been a long time since I did a Three Things Thursday post – ten categories, three things each. Let’s do it!

Three confessions

1) I’m on day 500-something of DuoLingo, and the only reason I’ve gotten there is because of streak freezes. Essentially, you can earn a streak freeze as a bonus after finishing a lesson (not every time, but you usually have at least one in your back pocket to use when needed). If you forget to do a lesson, the streak freeze will “save” your streak so you don’t have to go back to zero. (You can also do a special lesson to save your streak if you forget to do a lesson and you don’t have any streak freezes. Ask me how I know!) Anyway, I didn’t think it was abnormal to use those streak freezes until Meredith on Currently Reading talked about how she’s never used one (and she’s been doing Duo for a really long time). Y’all – those streak freezes are getting used by me, and used a lot. At least once a week. Oops?

2) I’ve had THREE salads this week! I had one for dinner on Monday, and then I’ve had one for lunch the past two days. My lunch salad needs some work to make it more exciting (right now, it’s just romaine lettuce, cucumber, kalamata olives, feta cheese, bacon pieces, and Greek vinaigrette; I’m all ears for additions, especially of the protein variety).

3) I’ve been in a weird reading mood lately. Not necessarily a reading slump because I’m still reading, but more that I have to be very careful about the books I pick up. I just abandoned a historical fiction novel because the subject matter was too dark, and then passed on a bunch of thrillers that were on my TBR because I just didn’t feel up to reading about scary (ish) things. Instead, I’m listening to a really silly romance on audio and reading a heartwarming novel in print. I am really not sure what I’ll be in the mood to read once I finish with these books!

Three books I just added to my Goodreads TBR

1) The Third Gilmore Girl by Kelly Bishop – Everyone is raving about this memoir, and I finally added it to my TBR last week.

2) Big Dumb Eyes: Stories from a Simpler Mind by Nate Bargatze – I heard about this memoir from the Book Riot podcast, and I couldn’t add it to my TBR fast enough. A memoir from one of my favorite comedians? Yes, please! I will definitely listen to this one on audio.

3) The Bell in the Fog by Lev A.C. Rosen – I added this mystery to my TBR after reading the first book in the series (which I reviewed on Tuesday!).

Three popular movies I haven’t seen

1) Dirty Dancing – I mean, duh. I’m hoping to watch it next Friday when I don’t have any plans!

2) Jurassic Park – I never saw this when it came out in the 90s, and definitely haven’t seen all of the iterations that came out afterward. Oops.

3) Frozen – Here’s something funny: When Bri and I met a decade ago, we made plans to get together and watch Frozen because she was astonished that I had never seen it. Unfortunately, Redbox didn’t have Frozen available at that time, so we ended up doing something else. And I have still not seen Frozen!

Three of my most-used apps yesterday

1) Happy Color (1 hr, 28 min) – I have a problem.

2) Overcast (1 hr, 9 min) – It feels like this should be higher, hmm.

3) Four Plus (1 hr, 3 min) – Another iPhone game. I need an intervention.

Three things I’m doing this weekend

1) Book club – Our May book club is earlier this month due to a lot of tricky scheduling. We’re going to paint pottery and go out for dinner, so it should be a fun evening!

2) A boat day – One of my friends just bought a boat, and we are going to take it out on the water and enjoy the sunshine and ocean air! I am so looking forward to some fun in the sun!

3) A drag show – One of my friends reached out to our group to see if anyone was interested in seeing Alyssa Edwards on tour, and while I do not watch Rupaul’s Drag Race and have no idea who she is, I was all about a fun night out with a friend!

Three things that made me happy this week

1) Lots of time with mom – We saw each other on Monday night since we had plans to meet up with Amber to discuss our London trip, and then we had a spontaneous dinner on Tuesday night. And we saw each other last night for our Wednesday evening HIIT class!

2) Booking a July vacation – I really wanted to do something with my mom on her birthday in July, since it’s a milestone birthday for her. So we booked a hotel in Orlando for a few days. We’re going to Gaylord Palms (a water park) for a day, and then the hotel we booked has a sweet pool with bar service, so we’re going to relax and enjoy ourselves!

3) Eloise’s little meows when she wakes up from a nap – Eloise loves sleeping on the top of this cart that I have right in front of my window (I added a blanket to make it cozier for her). It’s situated right next to my desk, so I can reach out and pet her whenever I want! Every now and then, her head will jerk up and she’ll meow at me very loudly. Sometimes it happens when I make a noise that disturbs her beauty rest, and sometimes it’s just out of the blue, as if she woke up from a weird dream and wants to tell me all about it. It’s the cutest thing!

Three little things I’m looking forward to when I move to a new apartment

1) A quieter washer/dryer – My washer/dryer is a menace. The washer is really small and will start shaking and making lots of noises if it’s even a little bit full. The dryer is so damn loud that I can’t have it on if I have a busy meeting day, which is quite annoying. Plus, at the end of each cycle, it makes this really loud buzzing noise that makes me jump every single time. I just want a normal washer/dryer that does its business quietly in the background.

2) Not climbing three flights of stairs – Gosh, I really hate living on the third floor. I’d love for my next apartment to be a ground-floor apartment. I am so tired of climbing stairs!

3) More natural light – I wish my apartment had more natural light. All I have is a big window in my living room and while it gives me some natural light, a lot of it is blocked by trees. And in my bedroom, there’s only a small window, but it looks out onto my patio, so there’s very little natural light coming through the blinds. I love having the windows open for natural light, and I really hope my next apartment has more options for that.

Three upcoming podcast episodes

1) Interviewing our friend Lynn about her experience losing her home in Hurricane Helene – This was such a tough episode for our dear friend. She has dealt with one of the worst things someone can go through, and 8 months later, she, her husband, and their dog are still not back in their home. We talked about her experience and how her personality played a part in how she’s coping.

2) Our pets’ personalities – We’ll follow up that difficult episode with a very silly one. Bri and I talked about our pets and their personalities, including typing their enneagram, Myers-Briggs, love language, and Hogwarts House. This was a ridiculous episode but so much fun!

3) Our bucket lists – We haven’t recorded this episode yet (and it’s not coming out until July – we are way ahead of schedule!), but we’re going to talk about bucket lists as a whole and some of the items we’d like to do before we die.

Three recent purchases

1) Some skincare replacements (Sephora) – Nothing exciting here, just Paula’s Choice BHA exfoliant and The Ordinary’s niacinamide serum.

2) New clothes (Old Navy) – For $60, I got two pairs of workout shorts, one workout shirt, two tank tops, and a pair of jean shorts. All things I had to buy to replace clothes that have gotten too big on me, so this is a great problem to have!

3) These cat postcards (Etsy) – I have been inspired by the Cool Bloggers postcard game, so I finally bought myself some to send out. Be on the lookout for them, especially those of you who have been amazing at sending me postcards already!

Three recent searches

1) “cotswolds” – We’re thinking of doing a day trip here when we’re in London but I don’t actually know anything about the Cotswolds.

2) “that’s crazy dude nyt” – YES SOMETIMES I CHEAT AT THE NYT MINI CROSSWORD. Sue me.

3) “tiger challenge amazing race 1” – I had to see if there was any chatter online about this INSANE challenge during the first season of The Amazing Race where the contestants had to walk through a tiger den. !!!! I would have been flipping out!

What’s something that made you happy this week?

Categories: Recurring Series

Five for Friday (v. 116)

1) A happy doctor’s appointment

I had my follow-up doctor’s appointment this week to go through my bloodwork. I was a little nervous about this appointment. While my A1C had decreased back down to prediabetes, it was at the tippy-top of that range. I worried that she would feel that it hadn’t decreased enough and would want to start me on medication. (I likely would have asked for another 3 months to see if I could bring down the number further if she had recommended medication.) But I needn’t have worried because my doctor was so pleased with my results! She also reminded me that in 2022, my A1C was normal, so it is possible to get back there. And I’ve shown myself that I can make changes and improve my bloodwork, so I just have to keep on keeping on!

We also talked through some of the other parts of my bloodwork that were a little troublesome. Even though my total cholesterol is normal, my other cholesterol numbers remain fairly high (and have been high for several years). The plan is to continue to improve my diet and physical activity, and then retest everything in three months. She also wants to do some extra tests to see if my high cholesterol numbers are affecting my blood/veins (honestly, she said a lot of long, sciency words here, and I don’t remember much). But basically, she just wants to make sure everything is looking good inside my body, even with high triglycerides/HDL/etc.

The other troublesome result was my low iron. I’ve always struggled with iron (I have a really hard time giving blood because I rarely make the cut-off for my iron levels!), but now I’m in iron-deficient anemia. Usually, taking an iron supplement stabilizes my iron levels, so that’s what I’ll be doing again. I’m hoping this will help me feel a bit more alive during the day. While being on CPAP therapy has improved my energy levels a lot, I am still a sleepy girl most of the time, and I wonder if my low iron levels are contributing to that feeling. It will be interesting to see if I have more energy after being on this supplement for a while!

Have I talked about my health enough these days? Oof.

2) Lila turns 7

Yesterday was Lila’s birthday! Now I have two seven-year-old daughters. Here are seven things you should know about Lila:

She is a whore for treats. She will jump up on my dining room table multiple times a day and give me a squeaky meow, and she is just so damn cute that I find it hard to deny her. I need to cut down on the amount of treats she gets, but ugh, that little face and tiny meow get me every time!
She hates being picked up. The only time I have anxiety when it relates to my cats is when I know I have to get Lila in a carrier. She doesn’t let me pick her up on a normal day (if I do manage to pick her up, she brings out her claws and acts like I’m trying to murder her), so getting her in a carrier is a process. I’ve finally figured out a method for getting her into the carrier quickly, but ugh, she always makes the saddest meows when I’m trying to grab her and it breaks my heart.
She loves morningtime snuggles. Every morning when I pull off my CPAP mask and turn off my machine, I know I’ll hear her little trill as she jumps up on my bed for pets. It never fails; within just 30 seconds, she knows it’s time for snuggles! This is one of the only times she will let me snuggle her close to my body and kiss the top of her head. If I tried this any other time of the day, she’d act like I was crazy. But in these early morning moments before I’m fully awake, I get to snuggle with my girl and it’s my very favorite thing.
She’s shy and timid. Oh, how I wish the people in my life could enjoy Lila as much as I do! Alas, she is always hiding when people come over. The only person she’ll come out for is my mom, but everyone else is off-limits. Even my cat sitter never sees Lila when she comes over! Whenever there’s a knock at the door, she immediately hightails underneath the couch where she will stay until the people leave.
She loves a weird sleeping spot. On my stinky running shoes? Check. Curled up with a set of hand weights? Check. On top of my tote bag? Check. Using a hardcover book as a pillow? Check. Sleeping on top of my planner with the spirals cutting into her stomach? Check. This girl will sleep anywhere and everywhere she damn well pleases.
She is SO fluffy. You haven’t known soft until you pet Lila. She is so soft and fluffy, and petting her belly makes all of my problems go away. There is something healing in being able to pet her soft fur and hear her little purrs.
She has a quiet but squeaky meow. I wish I could get her meow on video, but it’s just so quiet that it’s hard to hear at times. A lot of times, she just makes this adorable “ah” sound when she meows, but when she really wants to get my attention, she gives me a louder, squeakier meow. I call her Sissy Squeaks a Lot when she does this. 🙂

3) The switch to Prozac

I am currently finishing up my first week on Prozac, and things are… okay. I started to get nervous that the taper process was coming to a head last week. I had a night of extreme anxiety and couldn’t sleep. Whenever that happens, I get worried that my body is telling me that something has happened to my mom. Thankfully, I wouldn’t have to wait too long to make sure she was okay, as we had signed up for a 6am HIIT class together. Around 5:45am, I checked the Find My Friends app, and sure enough, her little dot was moving in the direction of the gym. Crisis averted! Another time this week, I started having anxiety right before bed, so I called her even though it was late. I had to remind myself that she told me to call her when I was feeling anxious, and if what I need to feel calm is to see her on FaceTime, then that’s what I need to do.

That has been the worst of the anxiety episodes lately, though, and I’m starting to feel like I got off pretty easily with the taper process. Hopefully, I am through the worst and can start feeling the difference of being on Prozac.

4) Workout clothes

Where is everyone buying their workout clothes these days? On Wednesday night, my HIIT instructor decided to start our class by having us run around the room for a few minutes, which is fine, but I quickly learned that the shorts I was wearing were a little too loose. It’s not very comfortable to run when I’m trying to hold up my pants! On the one hand, yay! Great problem to have! On the other, oof. Time to invest in some new clothes that I’m not constantly having to adjust throughout class. Usually, I would buy something from Target or Amazon, but since I’m trying to lessen my reliance on these stores, I’m on the market for another place to shop for workout clothes. Maybe Old Navy? I don’t want to spend a ton of money since I am hoping to lose more weight, so these aren’t going to be investment pieces.

5) Weekend plans

It will be another low-key (ish) weekend, which I am all about these days! I don’t have any plans tonight. Tomorrow, I only have a writing date with Mikaela on the schedule. And Sunday is Mother’s Day! I will obviously spend it with my mom. We’re going to do a bike ride with my brother and older nephew and then do lunch afterward. It will be a lovely afternoon!

Where do you buy your workout clothes? What are your weekend plans?