1) A lazy girls’ weekend

Last weekend was pretty good! Bri and I hit the road for Orlando on Saturday morning and got to Jackie’s just in time to love on her pets and then drive to a really cool Asian market for dim sum. It was my first time having dim sum and it was… fine. Asian food isn’t my favorite because I’m the pickiest eater ever, but I’m glad I tried it! Afterward, I made everyone go to The New Romantics bookstore where I proceeded to buy three books without taking a beat. The rest of the day was lazy! I did a lot of reading, Bri and I took Jackie’s dog Pascal on a walk, and I tried to figure out ways to steal her cat Tootles. In the evening, we went to a cute Italian restaurant for dinner.

On Sunday, we were up early to get breakfast before driving to an alpaca farm! We did a painting event that was a lot of fun, but truly the best part was that baby alpacas got to roam around the fenced-in area with us. They got into so much trouble! Trying to steal paintbrushes and water bottles and knocking down the instructor’s easel. Naughty, naughty! We got to feed them treats and touch their surprisingly soft noses and it was everything we could have wanted!

After our alpaca painting adventure, we came back to Jackie’s, packed up, and hit the road for home. I was back home by 2:30 and napping by 3, ha.

2) Medical news of the week

We’re winding down the doctor’s appointments, but I still have some medical news to share! Last week, I did my nerve conduction study and learned my carpal tunnel pain is considered “moderate” on a scale of mild to severe. Yesterday, I had a follow-up appointment with the orthopedic, where we discussed surgery. From what the doctor told me, recovering from carpal tunnel surgery is fairly quick (some people are back at work the next day!) and getting the surgery done before my condition is severe will also help with recovery time. I haven’t scheduled the surgery yet (waiting to get a call from the surgical coordinator), but I think I will move forward with it. It’s not like the carpal tunnel pain is going to get better without surgery. And I met my deductible for the year so why not?!

3) Breaking records

It’s been a wild time in Florida, as we’ve been breaking some long-standing heat records. First, on Sunday, we broke a record that has stood since 1890 – a temperature of 100 degrees recorded! Normally, our actual temps stay around the low 90s, but with the humidity (often 70-90%), it always feels much, much hotter. Then, on Tuesday, we broke another record with a heat index of 119 degrees. I did not experience those temps myself since I don’t live in Tampa proper (I’m in the coastal city of St. Petersburg, where our heat is a little lower thanks to the ocean breeze). It is still disgustingly hot, which means I’m staying inside as much as possible, blasting my AC, and trying not to think too much about how high my electric bill is going to be.

This intense heat is also making me very nervous about hurricane season. So far, so good, but the real test is late August – mid October, so keep your fingers crossed for us!

4) Mental health

My mental health has been on the struggle bus this week. I’m not having spiraling thoughts like I normally do, but I have this constant feeling of dread that refuses to go away. It’s manifesting with a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. I feel really irritable and I’ve had the hardest time focusing on work this week (which is really unfortunate since it’s end of month and I have so much to do!). And I’ve been crying a lot, which is SO unlike me.

I’ve been trying to figure out the root cause of this anxiety.

Is it my recent hyperfixation with Superman? Seriously, you guys, my whole personality is Superman, David Corenswet, and the cast’s press tour. My IG feed is now broken because that’s all I’m being served now. All of it brings me a lot of joy, but I’m also a bit overstimulated.

Is it a really sad situation happening with a family member? I feel very emotional and helpless about what’s happening to them.

Orrr… could it be birth control? I started hormonal birth control on Sunday, so the timing works out. I did some light Googling and this birth control paired with Prozac can mess with mood disorders and even lead to serotonin syndrome.

I was feeling so anxious on Wednesday night that I took my first dose of the fast-acting anxiety medication my psychiatrist prescribed for me (propranolol). It’s a medication that only works on the physical symptoms of anxiety, and I can’t say I felt much of a difference, but I think it helped a little. My next step is to reach out to my psychiatrist to explain what’s going on and get her advice about the birth control. I’d much, much rather have a few days of really shitty period cramps/heavy bleeding than deal with this level of anxiety. Ugh.

5) Weekend plans

I have some good weekend plans ahead of me, which should hopefully help with my mood. Today, I am getting a massage in the late afternoon, and then maybe I’ll do some retail therapy. I’m not sure! Saturday is my writing date with Mikaela and afterward, my mom and I have appointments to finally get TSA Pre-Check (woop!). And Sunday, I have zero plans. There’s a part of me that wants to go see Superman again, so maybe I’ll do that.

How’s the weather where you are? What are your weekend plans?

1) A HIIT compliment

Wednesday night’s HIIT class was completely full, which is pretty rare. This class has 8 workout stations and you rotate through each one. Typically, my mom and I can be in our own “group” during the Wednesday night class, although sometimes we’re joined by another person. This time around, every group had four people and it was the first HIIT class for one of the women in our group. The first station we chose was a burpee with a deadlift holding a kettlebell. The first thing she said was, “Oh, I can’t do a burpee!” and then proceeded to look at the kettlebells (I think the smallest one was 25 lbs) and went to the shelf to get a 10-lb dumbbell. Me? I was ready to get the burpee station over with first and was just fine doing a deadlift with a 25-lb kettlebell.

Then, during another station, we had to do high knees while holding dumbbells high above our head. I chose the 15-lb dumbbells and this woman chose a lighter weight, but didn’t even attempt to hold the weights high, she just held them up to her shoulder. And then she saw me doing the workout as intended and was like, “How are you doing that?” And I had to admit that I’ve been coming to this class for a year, so I have built up the endurance and strength to handle (most of) this high-intensity workout.

And I’m not saying all of this to demean this woman. She was a conventionally thin woman and you would think she would be the one killing this workout, not me. But I’d like to think I gave her the permission to not be limited by her own expectations. In the second round of the high knees station, she held the weights high above her head like I was doing and got through the next two rounds like a pro.

What this reminded me is that I have come so far in the past year. I no longer need the modifications that my HIIT trainer used to give me, and I’ve even noticed that my lower back pain has decreased dramatically. (I used to struggle with it during every HIIT class and even wore a back brace for a period of time.) My standard weight is 15 lbs (dumbbell) and 25 lbs (kettlebell). Sometimes, I can even handle the 20-lb weights. And this is because my HIIT instructor pushes me in every workout to exceed my own expectations and in doing so, he has taught me how often I limit myself. Because I am just like this woman in some respects. There are still some workout moves I don’t do because I don’t think I can. For example, I’m still doing push-ups on my knees even though I am certain I can do them on my toes. I’m still letting myself take a break during a hard cardio set even though I want to be a person who pushes through.

And because of this woman, in my HIIT class yesterday, when the instructor asked us to get a set of dumbbells, I opted for the 15-lbs dumbbell, even though my brain was telling me to pick up the 10-lbs and take it easy. I also made it through an entire 30 seconds of plank jacks at the end of the workout when previously I would have taken a break after 10 seconds. This is my reminder that I can do hard things and I can be the kind of person that doesn’t quit even when I want to.

2) Medical updates of the week

From now until early August, my life is going to be filled with tests and doctors’ appointments and all that fun stuff. And who knows what will happen afterward, depending on any diagnoses. This week, I, erm, collected my stool sample. I will not say much about this, other than it traumatized me and the fact that they only provide one pair of gloves in the kit is criminal. (Thankfully, I have a whole box of gloves from my old hair-dyeing days!)

Yesterday was my ultrasound at my gynecologist’s office. While I won’t know my official diagnosis until I meet with my doctor next week, I took a peek at the screen afterward and noticed that there were two measurements for Fib 1 and Fib 2. I snapped a photo, uploaded it into ChatGPT, and asked if that meant I had fibroids. Apparently, yes. One is small (under 2 cm) and one is medium-sized (4.5 cm), and that’s the one that’s probably causing the more intense period symptoms. But wow, imagine if I kept brushing off these bad period symptoms as just part of being a woman!

I am so, so thankful to Michelle, who was the first one to encourage me to ask my gynecologist for an ultrasound to make sure my intense periods weren’t due to fibroids or polyps. (And extra thanks to Nicole, Julie, and Tobia for seconding, thirding, and fourthing Michelle’s suggestion.) This blogging community is everything!

On the docket for next week is bloodwork to test for Celiac and other food allergies and my follow-up gynecologist’s appointment.

3) Should I do “101 Things in 1,001 Days?”

Tobia has been posting about completing her latest “101 Things in 1,001 Days” list, and I have the itch to create my own! Basically, this is a challenge where you set 101 goals to complete within 1,001 days (which is just under three years by a few months). I did one of these lists a long time ago, but gave up after a few months. It’s a fun idea because there is so much that can happen in 1,001 days! That’s such a long time, and it would allow for more long-term goal planning than I currently do. But I also know how quickly I need to pivot on my yearly goals when I realize something I wanted six months ago isn’t necessarily something I want today. I worry that happening a lot more with such a big list of goals and a longer time frame. Anyway, right now, I have started a Google Doc to do some planning. I set the start date as August 1st, and we’ll see if I go through with it. I guess it will depend on whether I can really come up with 101 goals!

4) More London planning

This week, my mom and I met with our beloved travel planner Amber for more London logistics. Because Amber is so dedicated to her job, she went to London this month to scope out the scene. (Okay, fine, she actually went with her best friend to see Beyonce, but I like to pretend she’s just a full-service travel planner.) She had lots of great advice for us, especially some of the public transportation logistics, which is the part of traveling that I hate the most. I just really struggle with public transportation! She also saw the hotel we’re staying at and was able to scope out some nearby restaurants we’ll be able to walk to.

One thing I want to mention is that using a travel planner doesn’t necessarily mean you don’t get to do the fun part of planning a trip, like research and scoping out the places you want to see and building an itinerary. My mom and I did all of that on our own and built an itinerary. We’re working with Amber to fine-tune the itinerary to make sure we’re being as efficient as possible and not missing any must-see sights. Plus, she’s doing all of our bookings, which is not the part of trip planning I enjoy, and is also researching different types of travel insurance/rates for us. I’ve also asked her to provide specific instructions on how to get to certain places and restaurants to eat at. We are not foodies and I work better when I know exactly where I’m going to eat for each meal, rather than playing it by ear.

Anyway, Amber is a true gift and I know she’s the reason this trip is going to be EPIC. And if you need a travel planner for your next trip (or just want someone to help you find a good deal on a cruise or travel insurance, she’s your girl).

5) A reading retreat weekend

It’s going to be a low-key weekend for me, and I’ve decided to make it a semi-reading retreat. My mom and stepdad leave today for a short weekend trip, and I am on Chip and Lucy duty. (I always stay at their house when I dog-sit since it’s easier, and I check on my girls once a day.) I figured that I’ll be spending a lot of time snuggling the dogs and generally being lazy, so why not try to get through a few books this weekend, too? My goal is to log 15 reading hours!

What’s on your agenda this weekend?